I have no pictures to record this epic event, so I googled LLAMA ATTACKS and came up with a few visuals to illustrate my story.
I went to Wilson Farm today to buy strawberries and let Nicholas see the chickens. Now, we've been to see the chickens before and the llama that they keep (I still don't know why...I mean, they don't sell llama milk, meat, or fur....why do they have it!?) has been out of its cage, wondering around the barn. It always freaks me out a little, but I try to keep a calm demeanor because I figure llamas can sense fear.
Before we entered the barn, a mother and her two sons were coming out and they said, "There were baby chicks born yesterday!! But watch out....The Llama is loose." (Yes, I think it should be capitalized...because it's not A llama...it is THE llama).
I thought, "Oh, no problem, I can handle this llama....my son's half peruvian for heaven's sake!"
But I didn't know the llama had become the guardian of the chicks.
When we entered the bar, the chickens were going CRAZY (probably because their chicks were in a separate cage) running around in circles. So I said, "Woah! Crazy chickens!" And as soon as The Llama heard my voice, he jumped to his feet and spun around to stare at me with his ears pressed back against his head. Electricity was in the air....he did NOT want us here.
We courageously pushed forward, coming closer and closer to the chicks' cage, meaning we came closer and closer to The Llama. I tried to speak in calming tones, "Hi there, we're friends, we're just here to see the chicks....it's okay, we're friendly..." But with every step, The Llama stayed trained on us like a missile on it's target. If I had realized then that he was simply protecting the chicks, I would have left without trying to see them.
I got to where The Llama's head was, and he took a step closer, bringing his face right toward me. I instinctively jumped away, which made him jump and get a little more tense. So I stood stock still with Nicholas on my hip, and just stared back at The Llama. I spoke in calming tones again, and just waited. I even offered up my hand, in a fist, palm down, (like you would for a dog) so he could smell me and realize I'm not a threat.
At this point, I wasn't scared, just nervous. But then I realized that I was backed in a corner. The Llama stood between me and the door with his buck teeth bared, grinding his jaw, staring at me with those crazy Llama eyes.
After a few minutes (seriously, I really did stand stock still for a few minutes) I thought, "Okay, take charge, show him you're not afraid by acting the boss....like a horse." So I said, "We're just going to look at the chicks...." and I took a step toward the chicks cage. BIG MISTAKE!
After a few minutes (seriously, I really did stand stock still for a few minutes) I thought, "Okay, take charge, show him you're not afraid by acting the boss....like a horse." So I said, "We're just going to look at the chicks...." and I took a step toward the chicks cage. BIG MISTAKE!
He lunged at my little boy! He took two quick steps toward me, with his buck teeth aimed right at Nicholas' chest! Instinctively, I curled my body around Nicholas, not realizing that I was turning my back to the enemy. I whirled my head around, still cradling Nicholas against my chest, and I saw LLAMA FACE right over my shoulder trying to take a bite out of my hair! So I shouted with attempted authority, "NO! BACK!" and I ran as fast as I could for the door.
Unfortunately, barns with wood floors covered in hay are slippery! And as soon as I twisted and ducked (because I had to keep away from the weaving Llama head), I slid and took a nose dive. I fell onto my right side in an attempt to keep Nicholas from hitting the ground, but he still has scrapes up and down his leg and he bumped his head on the ground. Now I'm on the ground, completely unguarded and defenseless with The Llama hovering over me! I screamed again and sort of did an army crawl in my attempt to get up and out as quickly as I could.
Nicholas is bawling at this point because he's so terrified. So I emerge from the barn at a full sprint, covered in hay and dirt from head to toe, with a hysterical look on my face, bleeding from my arm and hand (just scrapes, but still), and a wild-eyed screaming child on my hip. All the delivery people from Wilson Farm are staring at me, apparently having overheard my forceful screams from the attack.
It was at that point that I realized how funny the whole thing would have been from the outside. I wish I had it on video. And then I felt a little stupid, thinking, "It probably wasn't even attacking, I just freaked out."
But llamas DO attack. Here's the proof:
Bubby! That's a scary story!! Did you complain to management?? What if he really was trying to attack you and the next people who went in there got hurt??? You need to complain about it! You could even sue if you wanted, honestly!
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